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Emotional Intelligence – Understanding EQ with Daniel Goleman – Animated Book Review

So what’s the difference between intellectual intelligence and emotional intelligence now there are actually eight different intelligences that have been categorized but today we’re going to be looking at emotional intelligence specifically the book written by Daniel Goleman so why is emotional intelligence so important well you can tell the difference between a robotic person who knows a lot but they have very little emotions and a charismatic intellectual who seems to move a whole audience and you can also tell it in their bank account friends and loved lives as well in fact Daniel Goleman says that those who have just enough IQ to get into a decent university but have a stellar EQ are the ones who rake in the most cash so how can you develop your EQ and what can you do to cultivate it so there are five areas of growth you can work on to increase your EQ score developed by Daniel Goleman I’m going to go over some topics that revolve around them and how you can work on increasing your emotional intelligence today so the first is self-awareness the second is managing emotions the third is self motivation which personally this is an area I can work on the fourth is empathy and the fifth is handling relationships so the first big topic we’re going to go into today is called the ventilation fallacy so there’s a stereotypical thought in modern society that to get over your feelings or anger or something like that we must talk about them and this helps to some degree to cognitively think about your subconscious feelings but venting does not help yelling ranting typing up essays over bitterness flipping someone off cesspools of poison as a status update or any other foreign inventing method are according to Daniels theory wrong and technically make the situation worse see venting when you’re angry prolongs your feelings and doesn’t help stop them Goldman and many other studies have proven this I think venting when you’re sad is okay because it’s a great way to find out why you’re sad and thus you can make the changes you need to to not be sad anymore when you’re angry there’s usually not much cognitive thinking and it’s usually mostly just emotional lizard brain thinking that happens to cause problems down the road so try not to vent so the next topic we’re going to go over is to try not to ruminate over things instead try to find distractions so in high school I used to be very self-conscious about the things I’d say to other people like was I funny did I sound smart these meant a lot to me when I was in high school and I thought about them a lot eventually I started a new hobby I started weightlifting now this little hobby lasted for probably four to six months but I lifted good and almost every single day and this was a great distraction but it also built up my physical stature which physiologically made me more confident so I distracted my selves about what I would say by weightlifting it’s kind of hard to explain but my confidence increased and I didn’t worry about as much of what I said I know some people do with depression and negative thoughts every day in fact I dare to say lots of people do and there is a way around this because I’ve been there and I know the environments and thoughts and fears and pain they only sell feed and they grow and it’s hard to get out of so negative thoughts keep you in the negative mindset and just like the confirmation bias they will confirm your sad feelings according to the availability bias things that you ruminate on things that you’re constantly thinking about will stick around easier and they won’t go away on their own so you need to fill your head with new ideas instead get some hope by starting a business gain some confidence by working out do something physically active to distract your brain and raise it to a higher energy level it can be done you just have to have the motivation to do it which is also very important to emotional intelligence and like willpower can be strengthened over time so the next big topic is going to be self motivation so self motivation is obviously closely tied to goal power and you can cultivate it most of the time passion will drive you to do something so find that find something that you have passion in and you’ll likely have tons of self motivation for me at times it has been web development playing with lasers weightlifting and now it’s making awesome helpful videos so the important thing to this is you have to be very self aware you have to know what you can do to motivate yourself so I’m going to go into a little subcategory most people are motivated by one of four things they all start with in money mating momentum or mastering of course money is material things and gaining wealth mating is sexual or romantic desire and this helps if you want to lose weight weight lift or get in better shape momentum is basically freedom doing what you want where you want and always growing for me this channels momentum is huge I love waking up and seeing 300 new subscribers or a couple Facebook messages about how I have changed someone’s life it drives me to make more videos knowing I’m making a difference so many lives in the last is mastering which is basically status and being able to tell others you’re a great leader or you know how to program in eight programming languages or speak in fourteen or you’re an eighth degree blackbelt find what motivates you and use it to your advantage so if you’ve never heard of the marshmallow story I’m going to sum it up pretty quickly basically they take a whole bunch of little four-year-olds and they bring them into this room and they give them two options one they can eat a marshmallow right now or two they can wait until the researcher gets back and have two marshmallows and they actually videotape this study so they did after it probably 15 20 years they started and they went back to these people and they were trying to figure out that the people that waited and got the two marshmallows and they practice delayed gratification were they more successful what they found was that after graduation waiting having this ability to delay gratification was a better predictor than IQ of their SAT scores it is also a huge factor of emotional intelligence and future success so there’s also studies that say you can strengthen your willpower and your ability to delay gratification just like a muscle and also that it gets weak throughout the day and the more you use it also like a muscle so the next topic I’d like to go over is that emotions are contagious so there was this study where they took a volunteer with a high energy level that is they were super excited pumped up exuberant and they put him with another volunteer with a low energy level and as they were almost depressed and they sat them in a room for a couple minutes to talk but before they talk they filled out a form giving them a qualitative review of their moods a couple minutes later and magic happened they gave the form back to both people and what they realized was that most people didn’t stay the same energy level in fact in most cases the high energy level was transferred to the low energy person which means that if you’re in a slump or a rut and you can’t seem to get happy or be excited about life start hanging around people with lots of energy lots of Drive lots of people who are ambitious and happy about life because it’s contagious on the other hand if you see one of your friends in the dumps do them a favor and help them out start spending more time around them so the next topic is going to be empathy so empathy is the ability to feel and react to the emotions of others now this is a requirement for being a great leader and you must know what motivates other people and how to pick someone up effectively when they’re in a rut so knowing other people’s feelings especially if you know them better than they do will give you an edge and you’ll be perceived as highly intelligent in any field but the best advice I can give you is to talk to lots of people about their feelings on an emotional level and finding out how they tick so the last topic we’re going to talk about is managing relationships and this topic is kind of hard to go into in this video so if you want to check out my other videos also check out gary vaynerchuk’s videos he has some amazing videos on managing relationships and empathy go check them out and I hope you guys enjoyed this video and learn something from it if you did smash that like button below thank you for watching and subscribe for more amazing life-changing videos

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