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Dr. Melanie Joy : Carnism vs Veganism | A PBN Interview

Carnism Vs Veganism: Melanie Joy, Ph.D., Ed.M., is a Harvard-educated psychologist, celebrated speaker, organizational consultant, and author of the award-winning book Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows. Dr. Joy is the eighth recipient of the Institute of Jainology’s Ahimsa Award, which was previously awarded to Nelson Mandela and the Dalai Lama.

Her work has been featured by numerous national and international media outlets, including the BBC, ABC Australia, NPR, and the New York Times. Dr. Joy has given her acclaimed carnism presentation on five continents, and the video of her recent TEDx talk on carnism is in the top 1% of the most-viewed TEDx talks of all time. She is also the author of Strategic Action for Animals. Dr. Joy currently lives in Berlin, Germany, with her husband and co-CEO of Karnismus erkennen, Sebastian Joy.

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Emotional Intelligence – Why Your EQ Is More Important Than Your IQ

Hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video we’re going to talk about emotional intelligence alright so emotional intelligence why is it important well first before we even get into that let’s say emotional intelligence is also defined as EQ kind of like you have IQ which is your intelligence quotients well here you also have EQ which is your emotional quotient so I’ll be saying interchangeably emotional intelligence sometimes other times I’ll be saying e Q to be compared to IQ alright so why is EQ important well what they’ve actually discovered after doing lots of research in the last really thirty years they’ve had so much research about what creates performance and success in business and in careers and what they really found is that people who are successful the number one factor is not IQ it’s not intelligence the number one factor is EQ it’s emotional intelligence it’s your ability to work with emotions that is what’s critical they’ve done so many studies in colleges and universities and in corporations across the country in the world that really document this and demonstrate this you think we would kind of commonly think that well if somebody is smart if they have a high IQ then that person can get a lot of stuff done and sometimes we even say that well he’s so smart he’s got he’s got like a really sharp mind he’s able to get stuff done that’s not actually very true people that are extremely smart technically speaking on the IQ scale if they have a very high IQ actually they tend to not produce that much they tend to be not that successful when your IQ gets like above 150 it does actually be counterproductive because you’re so much in your head all the time and you lose touch with the emotions and the emotions are what really create success in life because life is about relationships life is about being able to be in relationship with others and it’s also understanding yourself and being able to control and manage your own emotions so if you can do that if you can develop strong emotional intelligence then you are going to be successful and your relationships are going to be more successful you’re going to be happier there you’re just going to be happier alone by yourself naturally you’re going to have better control you’re going to be able to do things you’re going to be able to execute on the things you want to execute on because you’re gonna have the discipline in the wheel power and you’re not going to have those super high highs and those super slow lows in life you’re going to have a more even keeled trajectory through life and that tends to be what produces success and high performance so that’s ultimately why you should be interested in EQ now EQ we should clarify what it is and what it’s not let’s start by what it’s not a lot of people will assume that EQ talks about sociability and what emotional intelligence means is that you’re extroverted and that you’re confident and that you’re a people person and you’re very gregarious right we know those types of people that’s the cliche extrovert well that’s not what emotional intelligence is about emotional intelligence in fact is something that dovetails very nicely with introverts so for example I’m a very strong introvert but I also have a high emotional intelligence and this is something that actually measured through tests so I got I got tested for this and you know you can take assessments online and in both other places so the two are not opposed at all and the two are not synonymous being sociable and being emotionally intelligent is not necessarily synonymous so what is emotional intelligence said let’s really define it let’s break into it so here’s the definition that I got from a book called emotional intelligence 2.0 which I highly recommend you check out because they’ve got a very in-depth explanation with lots of examples and then they give you assessment so you can actually assess yourself and get scores which is which is nice so it’s not subjective it becomes very tangible so definition of emotional intelligence is and I’m reading this off the ability to recognize and understand your emotions in yourself and in others and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and your relationships so that is e Q in a nutshell now there’s really four pillars I’m calling them four pillars of emotional intelligence and they were part of that definition if you notice pillar number one is your ability to understand your own emotions being able to label your emotions and just recognizing what you have and having a broader range of emotions so having more awareness there that’s pillar number one pillar number two is your ability to control your emotions because it’s one thing to just know your emotions what you’re feeling label it it’s a totally another matter to be able to manage it to be able to discipline yourself control yourself so you’re not having those those crashes and you’re not having those ecstatic Peaks but you’re somewhere in the middle and you’re even keeled that’s controlling your emotions pillar number two P low number three is your ability to read emotions and other people you might call this empathy it’s your ability to understand what other people are experiencing and feeling being able to relate to that using your mirror neurons you’re relating to that and you’re understanding their point of view it’s really the ability to step into somebody else’s shoes and look at life or a situation from their perspective that’s pillar number three and pillar number four is your ability to then manage your relationships so how smooth are your relationships going for you how well are you communicating and interacting within them that is also determined by your EQ so EQ consists of all these four pillars and actually in that book emotional intelligence 2.0 I took tests and I got tested I got I got a score for each one of those pillars so you might be stronger and you probably are definitely stronger in some of these four than you are in others so maybe for example you are really good at controlling your emotions but you’re not so good about managing your social relationships or maybe your you’re really good at identifying your emotions but then you can’t really control them and so you know you’re experiencing you can label it you’re self-aware you’re very conscious but then you’re just struggling to actually then practically manage that and channel it into your work or the habits that you’re trying to instill in your life like you’re working on your diet or your gym so you know you can have different levels and of course the idea is that the higher you are in each one of these the better because you want all of them maxed out ideally the more intelligent intelligence you have the better you’re going to do in life the happier you’re going to be so you want them to be maximally at 100 each one at 100 all right so those are the four pillars I’m sure you have a deeper understanding of what EQ is let’s also talk about how this actually relates to some of the stuff that happens in our life because it might still be a little bit abstract at this point it might be a little bit unclear as to how EQ can really help you and how it impacts you already because it’s already impacting what’s happening in your life in fact if you’re having struggle in relationships whether you’re intimate relationship or relationships at work with your boss with coworkers with employees then that’s a really big sign that you have trouble in at least one of these four pillars if not all of them so let’s talk about that so here’s a list of the things that EQ is controlling or is tied to these are some of the effects of EQ firstly is anger management are you able to manage your anger well if you are then you have high EQ if you’re not then you have low EQ probably because well you’re failing on those first two pillars you’re not very conscious about it about your feelings and secondly you’re not able to control them very well so that’s an example right there next is accountability how much accountability are you able to take on yourself rather than blaming other people that’s connected to EQ how about honesty and trust that one is connected tq2 how honest are you with yourself but then also how honest are you able to be in social situations without having to be pressured into into line or telling white lies or being distrustful of people so honesty and trust are big and those are really tied to EQ you’ve also got assertiveness and confidence these are big if you’re lacking in assertiveness and you’re lacking in confidence then you’re also lacking in emotional intelligence communication how good of a communicator are you can you communicate in your intimate relationship how about communicating at work if you’re not able to communicate effectively that shows a lack of emotional intelligence how about stress tolerance are you always stressed are you frantic are you anxious thinking negative thoughts always judging yourself feeling guilty well that is a sign that you don’t have very strong emotional intelligence you’re faltering on one of those four pillars how about decision making how strong are you of a decision-maker do you find yourself waffling all the time making a decision then going back and going forward and going back and going forward or not being able to decide between two things for a long time procrastinating this is a sign of low emotional intelligence how about flexibility how flexible are you do you flow with life are you able to handle the challenge in the situation that are coming up with life or are you very rigid and set in your ways and everything is bumping into you and causing all sorts of pain and suffering that’s a sign of low EQ how about presentation skills probably more related to work how well you able to give a presentation to speak to convince people to motivate people to inspire people especially if your manager this is very very applicable and good managers must have high EQ to be able to influence their employees in a you know effective way also the next point is listening skills how about listening skills how good of a listener are you are you able to really listen to what people are telling you are able to understand it to really empathize with it and are you able to then show them reflect back to them that you did understand do people think that you’re a good listener or do people think that you’re a poreless well if you’re a poor listener then that’s tied to low EQ so that is the list and I’m sure there’s more these are just some of the most obvious ways in which EQ connects to your life in all these different areas but of course it relates to your intimate relationships very much it also relates to how you’re doing at work how you’re talking to clients all of that it also relates very much to how peaceful and happy you feel just inside by yourself because if you’re always frantic and you’re always sad or depressed we’re having any of these kinds of negative emotions you’re angry all the time you’re guilty this shows a lack of emotional intelligence because you’re not recognizing them in yourself first and foremost but then you also don’t have tools and strategies for how to manage them and then you’re you’re expressing them and then it’s also impacting your relationships out in the real world so it affects you and it affects the world so that’s you can you can see how powerful this idea is and how many aspects of your life it affects it literally the tentacles from EQ literally spread into almost every single aspect of your life this is why this idea is so so so important so now we know what EQ is we really defined it I think you have a good strong sense of how it relates to your life with all these examples the question now is how do you go about developing it or even can you develop it what can you do about this what if you happen to be low in one of these areas what if you don’t really have a strong sense of your emotions what if you don’t have good control what if you can empathize what if you are a bad communicator or bad in relationships how do you manage that well the good news is that more so than IQ EQ is highly developable that means you can develop it you can work on it it takes time it doesn’t happen overnight it’s not a week-long process it will take you months to do this but you can work in pinpointed ways on those exact deficiencies that you have in each one of these four pillars you can do things to retrain your mind to think in new ways to make new distinctions to understand new thing and to put new communication skills into place so that these things are brought up to to the maximum and that’s work that you can do I actually do a lot of that work through coaching a lot of the videos that I share with you guys although I don’t explicitly say that this is about EQ or emotional intelligence ultimately this is what actualize that org is about we’re helping you understand emotions we’ll help you understand your psychology and psychology is very emotion Laden and then we’re helping you understand how to master them through all these different techniques so for example something like meditation or something like journaling could be a technique that you can use to reduce your stress or to build more understanding of your emotions something like coaching is something you can use to understand your emotions better reading books and understand about this stuff can help you understand your emotions better then going out there actually practicing some of this stuff so there’s a lot of different like practical techniques that you can use and you should use to actually go out and work on each one of these pillars I don’t really have time to go into them it’s such a deep topic there’s literally hundreds of them so I can’t cover them all I’m going to have other videos that cover how to work probably on each one of these pillars and share more of these techniques with you but this video the purpose was just to show you that this is out there get you to start to understand that emotional intelligence is important and then hopefully give you a sense of this is something that you should care about and you should probably have a sense right now whether you are lacking in one of these four pillars or in all of them do you think you have low EQ or high EQ well now you probably now have a better sense although you can go out there to actually get it tested objectively through some of these surveys that they have in books and online which I highly encourage you to do but ultimately now you’ve got a sense of this and now get a little bit more body in to this idea that emotions are important self-control is important it’s all connected to your success in life alright this is Leo I would be signing off this is what I have to say about EQ go ahead leave me your comments please like this and share this I want to spread the message and of course check out actualized org because we have an awesome newsletter there that I want you to subscribe to it’s free free weekly updates with new video articles other goodies and really you want to be signing up because you’re getting you’re getting more information about how to develop self-awareness how to interact with the people how to understand your psychology and the psychology of others because once you understand yours and the psychology of others and you have some techniques for how to manage your psychology well then everything starts clicking for you and your eye your EQ raises and then you can accomplish amazing things so sign up we got some free bonuses there and new updates every week you

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Vegan Psychology

Hello today I want to talk about what what’s the benefits of going to a vigilar and if you know dividual is in terms of more specifically for animals it’s when you go to a slaughterhouse and you see the trucks of animals that are entering and see them for a moment and usually we give the martyr or try to comfort them as much as we could and so first this will sound like it’s a bad idea that especially if you’re not a vegan it might sound like you’re torturing yourself and that’s work it’s kind of interesting because there’s a lot of stuff that we know about this kind of idea take a look at what happens if someone takes something that’s overly comforting into their life so for example people that do opium waltz ends you get overly sensitive it is a painkiller and we find is actually that people will become more sensitive to suffering by ingesting these chemicals and on the contrary there’s other substances that do the exact opposite of what painkillers do and people with chronic pain conditions actually take things to their benefit where after they get used to the drug they actually feel much better in general because they’ve gained a tolerance for the suffering and I think that this kind of thing applies to confronting these animals as well because you tend to realize that they’re about to die and you see them and you see them in a much more human way when you’re confronting them here they usually sit in trucks for long periods of time you can see the exhaustion on their face and there’s a lot of elements that are pretty obvious when you look into the animals eyes you can tell if they’re more cautious or afraid of people some of them aren’t some of them share with each other and take turns drinking the water that we give them they’ll actually stopped drinking and allow another Pig and then stop again and let the other Pig go again but then some fight over it and you can kind of tell they’re different individual lives while you’re at these events and I think this kind of connection actually makes it more intense to realize that they’re about to die and this might sound bad but again that’s why I think there’s a benefit to exposing yourself to these things like first off these things are happening whether you look at them or not and to not look at them I think neglects and very important truth I think not looking at them is self comforting and I think that makes us more sensitive to suffering on one hand but I think on the other hand I think there’s a an element where like you might think that being sensitive to these animals by not going by remaining hypersensitive to these things is a good thing but it’s not necessarily it doesn’t mean that you’re going to care more about the animals it means that you’re simply not going to confront the problem at all and when you confront them although you might develop a tolerance to it you’re actually experiencing it at all in the first place when you’re avoiding it there is no experience of this to be sensitive to like you might have a sensitivity it’s just not applicable to your reality and another interesting element is that you’re surrounded by a bunch of people undergoing the same experience and I think that’s what’s critical to the benefit of going to these events even for someone who’s not a feech and I think people should go to these in the same way that someone might practice some form of intense exercise or intense physical endurance experience I think it can kind of train you would also force you to confront a reality that we often neglect and I think that kind of neglects makes us even fearful in our own lives towards the general concept of death and I think it makes us more selfish in some sense to but when we are at this event surrounded by other people it’s an interesting kind of bonding experience because everyone is in this kind of vulnerable state you know when we’re at these events it’s not like everyone’s crying some people are crying but the people are joking people are laughing there’s a lot of empathic vibes at these events and I think that it’s much it’s a very unique type of bonding because because of the vulnerability but also because of but mostly events that we bond like if we do drink alcohol that’s a substance that numbs us and we we don’t even it’s like we become more shallow and relate to each other on more shallow perspectives and it’s also euphoric experience which doesn’t really have any element of vulnerability and in fact it kind of with the numbness it kind of reduces wall rebuilding but I mean people will open up probably but I think and I’m going to that so but another thing I want to talk about is that when we go to these events I know my first went vegan I didn’t do it for the animals actually I did it for the environmental reasons because I thought that if we’re harming the environment it’s essentially that like especially for for pleasurable foods we’re essentially giving ourselves pleasure and taking away what our children will have we’re reducing the lives of our children for our own sake and I don’t think we should look at ourselves as more special than future generations of humans and I think it’s also that it impacts a much more people like my choice to eat is impacting people in the long term a lot of people pretty much everybody and so I don’t know that’s what convinced me to turn and I didn’t actually have much empathy for animals at the time I mean I would if I saw the animals but it wasn’t it wasn’t I wasn’t really making a connection of what we do in food industry or anything like that in three experience there was a lot of weird developments I found people would assume that I cared about the animals and I would really freak me out because it didn’t make sense I could see that people were biased when they looked at me simply cuz I was vegan and just kind of made me feel really distanced from other people and it made me realize a lot about stigma in general and I’ve been stigmatized in my life a lot but this was particularly weird because it was almost everyone that would stigmatize this and I didn’t expect it I would openly talk about it and people would react so strange and it confused me and it kind of send me off on a weird path for a while I got kind of defensive and I noticed that people would stereotype my defensive Ness as well and even that was kind of shocking I didn’t realize that a lot of the vegan stereotypes were actually caused by a kind of natural progression of being an outcast from the meat-eating world and I think I think that there’s a kind of emotional contagion that’s red’s within the communities of these people being going undergoing this process and then also associating even with people that don’t undergo these stigmas in their lives I think if the moods and attitudes spread them on the being culture and create these kind of stereotypes and I think it’s all in essence justified but I think a lot of things are justified in life I think both sides of this argument are in some sense justified and that it’s all about educating each other and trying to show each other different perspectives and things that we didn’t ourselves consider and so something weird that happened after I went vegan is that I became more and more sensitive to the animals and I didn’t first understand this but then I realized that I think it was because I wasn’t eating them which normally forces me to undergo these kind of coping strategies where I numb myself to these animals so for example if I’m eating a burger I noticed that well I’m essentially eating something that I could have empathized with or thought was cute or whatever like this but I don’t I don’t do that while I’m eating and I think that we reduce our awareness of that because that would just ruin the food obviously we would make it hard to eat and I think when I wasn’t a vegan I thought that this wasn’t necessary thing that we have to eat meat and so coping isn’t really a problem and I also realize that there’s a few different kinds of coping mechanisms so for example we can dissociate from our rationality where we can tell ourselves that these animals didn’t have feelings or that they deserved it or any kind of various rationalizations that we don’t have actually evidence for will what kind of loosen up our need for evidence in order to make ourselves feel better and conclude things that were not actually able to conclude rationally will become less rational in order to make ourselves feel better and I realize that this kind of thing extends beyond these moments that we’re eating it extends to every kind of moment of conflict where I can find ways to rationalize myself into a place of comfort another alternative alternative Rio is that I could turn down my empathy and I can remain rational and not lie to myself essentially but then tell myself that I don’t care or that that it I don’t know I can just turn off my emotions towards the conflict and I realize that that alternative route leads to a lot of problems like I can look at humans less empathetically and reduce my concern for even people and just anything that’s causing emotional problems like any any person that’s suffering I can kind of shut that out even and and so for a while I was getting more and more sensitive and then I started getting a little bit bothered by the fact that no one else was getting sensitive any kind of made me feel weird but eventually I start going to the visuals and then I actually stopped experiencing that and that might be bad I’m not sure I think it makes me live more comfortably and functionally and it actually hopes me need to talk to you people who are non feeding without becoming overt emotional and I think that I think that just having that experience that phase in life that made me realize all these things was enough I don’t think I necessarily have to remain in that sensitive space because it can cause me to become over reactive and other things like that which might be a problem but it made me realize how much this lack of sensitivity can kind of decrease or cognition even it’s like I started developing a more kind of co-list ik world where everything is more interconnected and I realized there isn’t this disconnect from logic and emotion that most people will look at that everything is kind of interconnected like it’s not necessarily that logic and motion overlap but like our to make a rational decision is still an emotional decision because to make a decision at all is not based on like necessarily some logical outcome or something is more that I care about something a certain way which is an emotion and I can find the most illogical path to resolve that emotional problem or desire and so that is all for now I might I think I’m gonna link podcasts in the 30 minute broadcast episode where I go into depth about this topic and I hope this was kind of interesting and again I want to reiterate I think that this sensitivity route in life can really make you much more aware of the nuances and different things going on in life and how much that we choose to neglect things we neglect third world problems when you go out to everything that isn’t in our media soaked with existence and usually you favor a kind of instant gratification lifestyle where we kind of reward ourselves to numb out the problems that we see in the world and I think that actually is what generates most of the problems that we deal with like Wars and all these different things I think I think the core problems of disagreement that we have would still exist but our ability to deal with these problems with violence so easily you would not exist I think that changing our perspective in these waves can really benefit society a more generalized way and not just not just veganism for the animals or its until it extends to everything all life and so that’s it for today thank you for listening and good bye